In NZ, research tells us that 1 in 3 women/birthing people will consider their birth traumatic. That’s about 50 people a day. And, this is only referring to the birthing person – Fathers, non-birthing parents, support people, medical practitioners and midwives can also experience birth-related trauma, so the figures are likely to be even higher.
And we don’t really talk about it. Or have a place where we can go - for our stories to be heard, for us to be held, and acknowledged and honoured for all we’ve gone through to bring our babies earthside.
I know my own journey has me still processing and healing from elements of my experience some 4-6 years later. And, so if this is how you’d describe any part of your fertility, pregnancy, birth or postpartum journey too, you are absolutely not alone. I am right here with you. And so are so many others.
Recently, I was gifted the opportunity to talk about this in a more public space, to shed some light on it and try and lift some of the silence.
I have long followed Marion Rose’s work in Aware Parenting and beyond and have completed several of her courses which have been so life giving. I really admire and value her mahi (work) and all that she puts out into the world. When she approached me to talk about how birth trauma can impact birthing people and their families, I couldn’t say no (even though it made me feel very nervous!).
Here’s the podcast that we recorded together. For the other podcasts I’ve written maybe about a page in preparation. This topic had me madly typing up about 4 pages of heavy content. And I still don’t feel like I’m done or even scratched the surface. I hope, if you listen to it, that you feel seen and heard in your story, and that it encourages you to reach out for the support you so deeply deserve.
It is never too late to heal.
It is never too late to process and feel lovingly held in the next layer of your healing.
And if things went exactly as you hoped in all ways, I’m so celebrating you. You deserve to have your story heard and held too. Transitioning from maiden to mother (and then mother again every subsequent birth) is freaking massive. Every. Time.
Ceremony:
In most indigenous cultures, this rite of passage is truly recognised and supported with ceremony and community care. There are massive efforts made to care for the birthing person. And there should be. Everyone is worthy of this kind of care.
I’d love to hold that space for you (and have for some of you already!). You can read more about my ceremonies here. https://www.honouringmama.com/ceremony
Send me your questions:
Send me an email reply if you’d like me to answer a specific question next month.
Māmā melody for the month:
I’m holding space for you and your journey this month, and so is this legend - Trevor Hall, You can’t rush your healing.
Sending you so much love and compassion,
Aroha nui Māmā,
Kirsty
Comments